Anyone can become confident, brave, courageous, cocky, creative, dominant, savage and intimidating when they are winning. But can they sustain that image when they're losing? can they still feel proud of themselves when their backs are against the wall?
Real confidence comes from mindset
Your mindset is everything, if you can say to yourself that you will keep moving forward no matter what then that is confidence already, you may not feel good all the time, you may not feel comfortable but that philosophy keeps you believing. You don't need to feel superior or dominant, you don't need to feel assertive or great... just take actions and you will feel good later, you will have that momentum you need in order to finish things and handle business. If you have a very strong mindset then you're not going to lose, you're going to prevail in the end, you're going to win.
REAL CONFIDENCE COMES FROM PREPARATION
If you practice enough, if you prepare enough, if your training is harder than anybody else then you will have that supreme confidence, you will never be fazed with any kind of adversity because you already experienced it during your training. Training your mind is already a preparation, it will also give you confidence. Train your mind how to react on every situation, train your mind to stay calm all the time even if you're put on a pressure cooker. Visualize, study, prepare, internalize, be ready for anything.
NOT BEING AFRAID TO FAIL BIG TIME
Confidence is not about winning, it's about having the ability to handle failures and mistakes with class. You're not afraid to take the blame, you're not afraid to embarrass yourself, you're not confident but you still show up and tried to win at your very best. Not attaching yourself to anything, not being afraid of what anyone might say if you fail and that includes the closest people in your life, you are comfortable risking your reputation or identity, you are not afraid to tarnish your legacy or whatever you call it. Just trying and showing up was already confidence. Only few people are willing to try and dare to do mighty things, only few people will show up when it's hard. So just jumping in and showing up means you're already confident even if you don't feel it. Have pride in being reliable and taking matters into your own hands.
Real confidence is simply trying and not attaching yourself with the outcome, it's simply giving yourself a chance to win and that's through taking chances and having the willingness to fail and embarrass yourself.
YOU WILL HAVE DOUBTS, YOU WILL HAVE FEARS
The term daredevil is not real, there is no such thing as a fearless human, even aliens got scared, even the wildest animals got scared, even the most brutal leaders from 200 BC got scared, nobody is immune to fear. You will have doubts, you will have fears but you can relax and breathe during these tough times, you can still manage to stay calm and never panic. You can have a poker face, you can fake confidence by simply staying still. Stillness is the key, don't worry because fear will go away if you let go of the idea that you need to feel good right away. Embrace discomfort, embrace the pain, embrace the stress and fear will go away. Accept that anything is possible, accept that you may really lose in any battle, accept that bad things may happen to you. If you can learn how to accept it then you will feel free, you will feel much better and fear will go away. Because fears gets stronger every time you resist. When I was in High school I was bullying my classmate, she feel so uncomfortable in the beginning but when he start to embrace what is being thrown at him, when he start to just laugh, when he start to just go with the flow and hear everything I say and look at everything I do... I become powerless, I was stunned. Look fear in the eye and it will become powerless.
LOOK FOR WHAT'S GIVING YOU AN EDGE
It can be preparation, a certain technique, a specific pattern, a simple routine, a basic ritual, a simple timing, a small belief etc. Something will give you an edge, something will give you an advantage. Look for what's giving you an edge and keep using it, it will make you more confident. It can be a small self talk, it can be a simple thought. Whatever sparks your motivation was already an edge.
ONE SIMPLE TRICK TO BECOME CONFIDENT
Just do it, just do what you need to do, never let your mind think because the more you overthink the more you feel troubled and doubtful, the more you think the more you will procrastinate. So just do it, even if you don't know the first step just do it. If you're afraid to ask your crush on a date just ask her, don't worry if your breathe is stinky, don't worry if you have a lot of dirt on your face, don't worry of you look like a clown just ask her, you never know, fate favors the brave, if you can be courageous for just a few seconds then a miracle might happen. And even if you got rejected well at least you try, it's a good experience, it's a good learning curve. And the best thing about it is you improve mentally, it really made you grow even if you wasn't able to own her.
If you're afraid to ask your boss for an increase ask him, don't worry about the right timing, don't worry about getting rejected, don't worry if he gets mad. Remember that this is just a game, you're just trying to win and you will never win if you didn't try, as simple as that. If he rejected you now then ask him again next year, don't be afraid to ask over and over again, it's simply about using your willpower and tenacity, it's simply about believing in yourself. Don't be afraid to fail, don't be afraid to take risks, don't be afraid to go big, don't be afraid to embarrass yourself... that's real confidence.
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