Jun 24, 2019

HOW BECOMING A PERFECTIONIST DESTROYED YOUR LIFE?

rugged breed

Everyone wants to become perfect. Everyone wants a very good life, a very good start, a comfortable place to live in, a kind boss, a perfect art, a perfect process, they don't want flaws, they don't want ugliness or mistakes, they simply want everything to be in harmony with how they feel. And that kind of attitude and vision makes their lives miserable even more.

PERFECTION CANNOT BE ACHIEVED. Having a perfect life, having a perfect wife, having a perfect surrounding, having a perfect job... this is not possible. If you're always looking for a perfect life then you will always find flaws. Perfectionist people always find ugliness in everything, they always find something to blame or something where they can be mad about. They never get satisfied, they always find something to improve even if there is no need to improve it anymore, they always compared themselves to others especially to people who were better than them.

If you're always looking for your life to become perfect then you're looking for something that cannot be seen. You're looking at the air, you're looking at the black hole. You can never see it because perfection is just an illusion. Even if you try so hard, even if you almost got yourself killed... you can never see it because you're not focused on perfection, you're focused on seeing what is wrong.

ADAPTATION IS BETTER THAN PERFECTION. If there is something wrong in your life... just adapt to it if you can't change it, just accept what it is if there is nothing you can do about it anymore. For example, if your neighbors were too noisy and disrespectful, you can never replace them, you can never make your neighborhood perfect, you can never force them to leave the community. All you can do is adapt to their noise, have peace with it and focus on some other aspects of your life.

If you will always try to control them then you will always be in war, you will never have a peace of mind. Accept that you can never control everything, accept that you will never have a perfect life and you will feel much better, you will be at ease, you will have more control. The more you let go of control, the more you will have control.

Adapt to your environment, adapt to what is wrong and just focus on what you can control... that is yourself, that is the way you think and react. Don't over react to anything that is uncomfortable because that will only make you feel badder.

YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A PEACE OF MIND IF YOU'RE A PERFECTIONIST. Peace of mind can only be attained through accepting what it is and trying to improve it if you can, if you can't and there is really nothing you can do about it anymore then don't dwell on it anymore. Peace of mind is better than perfection. You can let it go as fast as you can, you can stop feeding your ego and just let people criticize you if there is something wrong. If you are ok with not being perfect and not looking cool or great anytime... that is the real power. You have to be ok with nobody appreciating you, you have to be ok with nobody respecting you. It's ok, real power doesn't come from other people's good opinions or comments about you. Real power is when you have peace of mind and you have peace with yourself even though there is something wrong.

JUST GIVING YOUR BEST AND DOING BEYOND YOUR CAPABILITIES IS ENOUGH. If you already gave your best then that is enough, there is no need to prove yourself anymore. You should feel contended when you already gave your very best, stop thinking about anything else anymore because it's no longer helping you. Push yourself a little bit, give your very best and just stay still, be satisfied with it, no need to make changes anymore once you see something to be changed. Stop looking for so much improvement if everything is already in good place. Just be simple, just stay humble and feel happy with the amount of work that you put in, stop making war against yourself because you feel that there is still a need for change. If you can just appreciate everything in your life no matter how ugly it was then that is the real power, that is the real peace.

DEAL WITH IT. Deal with it, if it's not perfect just deal with it, if it's not beautiful just deal with it and find ways how to appreciate it. The more you resist and try to change something... the more it will get harder. Deal with your imperfect wife, deal with your weak teammates, deal with your ugly community, deal with a slow process, deal with a situation that you don't like. If you can do something about it and improve it then start fast and be happy with the results, but if there is nothing you can do about it anymore then stop thinking and just go with the flow. Let things be, let them be, let everything take care of itself.

Having the ability to deal with anything is power. Just deal with it, just accept it. Life is sometimes suppose to be hard, not all the time you will be in a perfect situation.

YOU WANT TO BECOME PERFECT BECAUSE. Sometimes you just want to look perfect or feel perfect because you want to become greater than others, you want them to feel that you're the better one. You want to become the greatest of all time, you want to impress everyone, you don't know that even if you're doing really great... someone will still criticize you, not everyone will agree with you and there will be people who will never get impressed with you ever. Stop trying to look perfect and just be yourself, you don't need to look good to the eyes of everyone.

THERE IS REALLY NO PROBLEM. Stop bleeding for your case too much, sometimes there is really no problem. You're just making it harder on yourself because you want perfection, you want everything to become well ironed, you don't know that if you will just be in the moment and embrace everything that life throws at you then you will be fine, you will do good. There is no problem if you will stay cool and forget about imperfections of life. Life is too simple, you don't need to complicate it. You are the one who created your own problems, if you will just stay simple and basic but giving your very best then your worries will go away.

SOMETIMES YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU'RE WRONG. Sometimes you are the one who's wrong but you can't admit it because you can't admit your mistakes. Your ego is eating you, you can't even say sorry to the person you've hurt, you can't even swallow your pride and make corrections according to other people's way. You just want what you want to happen even if it's not logical anymore. If there is a mistake that you did... admit it, stop trying to look perfect, stop trying to look that you're right all the time. Mistakes is part of life, there is nothing wrong about it, there is nothing wrong for admitting that you're wrong.

LET THE CRITICS CELEBRATE. Let the critics say what they say, you don't need their words, you don't need what they are talking about. What the say should not affect you, you know who you are and you know what you can do. Let the critics celebrate, you don't need them, what they say should not affect you if you want to have a happier life. The only thing that matters is if you really give your best or not.

PERFECTIONIST WORRIES ABOUT THE FUTURE TOO MUCH. They always think about what ifs, they always think about the worst thing that could happen. And that is why they were so worrying too much, they always felt the pressure even if the pressure is not there. They were pessimist and they always think that it's not enough. Stop being a perfectionist and you will find a real peace in your life, stop controlling too much because it's not worth it. You can never have power over everything, accept that your control is limited and there is no point in trying to make everything perfect. There will be ugly situations, there will be flaws, there will be mistakes, it's just a matter of how you deal with it.

PERFECTION IS STAGNATION. You don't want to start anymore because you're always looking for a perfect start, you're always looking for a perfect timing, you can't build a momentum anymore because you're so cautious about perfection. You want everything to look good and that kind of mentality is avoiding you from taking actions. If you want to get ahead in life then stop aiming for a perfect timing, stop aiming for a great start... just do it. Don't look to become a winner right away, don't look to become great right away.. just start.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is good!

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