More experience, more tries, more push, more risk and more pain... that's what you need to feel good about yourself. You're not pushing that's why you feel so weak, you're taking your time for granted that's why you're living like a bum, you're not a loser for life if you will just go all the way and bet on yourself.
Fear, doubts, worries... these will never end, it's normal because you're just a human. Just show up and never give up, that's all you need to do. It's ok to be scared but stop being a pussy. Stop complaining, blaming, acting like the world owes you something. Emotions especially the negative ones will never go away, the only thing you can do is feel it. You don't need confidence, bravery, power or any self belief... just show up and do what you are suppose to do and you're good. At the end of the day you will only be able to take actions, I mean massive massive actions if you're willing to take the blame and fail. If you're not afraid of rejection, failure, embarrassment or any negative emotion then you will become invincible. Emotions will never go away, this is a forever war inside of your head. This is nota bout winning or losing, this is about controlling your thoughts and being ok with whatever happen to your life. Win or lose, just show up and do your thing, you really have nothing to lose here, you are here to experience life, there is no rule that you should become happy, you are here to experience everything... ups and downs, highs and lows, happiness and sadness. Everything is just emotion, if you can feel nothing about something then you are powerful. If you can take the blame, take rejection and failure as nothing then you're in control. At the end of the day who are they to tell you what real success means, you can define your own success. My meaning of success is about trying, showing up and giving my best. It doesn't matter if I win or lose, for as long as I try so hard and gave my everything... I am fine with that, the money and prize is just a bonus. The real winner is the one who doesn't care about what people say even if he fails or succeed. It's just that he knows who he is and he is living with his passion and journey.
If you are worrying so be it, if you are doubting so be it, it's just another day, don't make it a big deal. Feelings are normal, don't feel bad, don't hate yourself whenever you are feeling negative, embrace it and think of it as a normal thing because you're just a human. You will never become ready, you will never become prepared, you will never feel alright and sure all the time, the only thing you can do is be ok with whatever may happen and never act like a victim, never think that the world owes you something. Let them be, let the world handle their own business while you are moving forward and giving everything you've got. You can win, it's only just a matter of time before something clicks.
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