Are you struggling to get rod of a bad habit? are you struggling to stop smoking or gambling or procrastinating? It's because your timing of stopping it is not right. You're always saying to yourself this is my last cigarette, you're always saying to yourself I will stop gambling after this game, you're trying to end a bad habit after telling to yourself that today is going to be your last day doing it. For example, you're promising to yourself that you're going to work hard tomorrow so it's ok to feel lazy now because today is the last day of your laziness. And that's why you can't end a bad habit, it's because you're still allowing yourself to do it for one more time.
The best way to stop something is to stop it while you're doing it. Throw away the cigar even if you've only puffed half of it, while you're gambling leave the game right away even if it's not yet finished, I don't care if they hold your money, I don't care if they put a gun on your face... just leave it. Stop watching your favorite show even if it's only 5 minutes left before it ended, turn off the TV and just let it go. Stand up even if the alarm is not yet ringing, stop the bad habit while you're doing it, you need to feel the pain, you need to get disappointed, you need to realize that it's ok leaving it. Because most of the time you're promising yourself that it is the last but tomorrow you will still do it.
You always promise to yourself that it is the last cigarette, it is the last time you're going to eat junk food, it is the last day of being lazy, it is the last day of being a bad person but tomorrow you can't control yourself again. If you want to be in control then you need to control yourself while you're doing the bad habit. Because allowing yourself to finish it is stupid, it's just fooling yourself. You have to shock your system if you want some change, you have to make yourself really uncomfortable if you want change to happen.
No cheat days, no last days, never allow yourself to finish the bad habit while you're doing it, stop when you have a chance to stop. Even if you're only two puffs away from finishing your cigarette... throw it away. Stop finding excuses why you still need to continue.
BE MINDFUL THAT YOU'RE DOING IT
Most of the time you're doing something that you want to stop, you can't control yourself. It's because it's too deep in your system, you've been doing it for a very long time to the point where you don't need to think about doing it anymore, it happens automatically. Be aware of every actions that you're doing, once you find yourself doing it... use your willpower to stop it, I know it's hard, I know it feels like freaking out but if you really want to change your life then you need to do something different, you need to be strict on yourself, stay disciplined and fight your old habit.
The truth is you don't want to do it anymore but you can't discipline yourself because your body is addicted to it. It's like a drug, it's like a medicine that you need to take or else you will freak out. But if you really want to have a better life then you better stay focused on stopping it.
Be present if you want to change. Be mindful, always put your mind on the now. Don't think about the future, don't think about how hard life is because you can't go back to your bad habit anymore, just focus on the now, focus on enduring, focus on disciplining yourself.
CHOOSE DOING NOTHING RATHER THAN DOING IT AGAIN
If you're too bored and you're itching to go back to your bad habit again just stop, don't do anything, don't move. Put your mind on a neutral state, it's better to be doing nothing than doing it again. It's better to be bored rather than doing something that is killing you or making your life miserable. Choose boredom over entertainment, choose deprivation over consuming... that is how to make your life better. Stay still if you feel like breaking the rules you made for yourself, just don't move. Sooner or later you will decide to do the right thing. Because it's better to stay inactive rather than doing something stupid again, it's better to stay still and calm rather than enjoying the chaos of your bad habits.
Because if you will choose to do it again then you're back on a vicious cycle, you're back on a downward spiral. But if you will choose to just sit down and calm yourself then you already made it, remember... stopping it is the main goal, you don't need to feel good or live a perfect life, you just need to stop it so that your life will become a little bit better. It's just a matter of picking the right choices, it's just a matter of using your willpower to avoid doing useless things again.
STOP LOOKING FOR AN ADVISE ON HOW TO STOP IT
Stop looking for a book, stop looking for a personal coach, you can stop a bad habit if you really desire to stop it. You can stop it now, looking for some help will never help you, you're the only one who can help yourself and nobody else. Because you know how to stop it, just don't do it. Feel the pain, feel the discomfort, there's no lesson needed here, it's not a complicated thing, it's a simple thing that is hard.
You know yourself better than the others, you know what to do, you know what's going on with your system. Because you really don't need a help here, you just need to stop being soft, you just need to go slow and stop being in an auto pilot mode. Be patient, it takes time but you can master yourself. You can command yourself to do what you need to do.
LITTLE BY LITTLE CREATE A HEALTHIER HABIT
It's easier to get rid of a bad habit if you will create a new habit that is healthier, little by little... survive the new habit. Do it even if you're slow, do it even if it's boring. Because it's the only way to change your life, you need to be strong, you need to focus on the positives. This is not a race, you can be really slow, take your time, there's no need to rush. Enjoy the process and remember that you're building a new life here so be careful and give it a lot of time. Inch by inch day by day, enjoy the boredom, have fun creating a new reality.
IT ONLY TAKES 21 DAYS
Discipline yourself for 21 straight days, stop doing stupid things, stop the things that are making your life miserable. Just stop, be aware if you're doing it again and stop right away. List the things that you don't want in your life anymore and stop doing it, guard yourself, guard your thoughts, always be aware of what you're thinking. Forgive yourself if you did it again and go back to counting the 21 days straight, go back to zero, go back from the beginning but try harder next time.
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