You have to realize that what you're doing now is all bullshit before you can change. If you don't think that it's bullshit then keep doing it but if you sense and realize that it's not doing you any good then you must stop it now and do something else productive.
What you're doing now will be your future, it will be your future life. It can give you results later or just a little bit of momentum.
You must learn how to control yourself and force yourself to do things that you don't want to do that are profitable or has rewards in the end because if you will still remain as the same person as yesterday... good luck to you, you will never achieve what you want in life.
You are still pretending that you are alright, you are still pretending that it's all good and you can make everything right tomorrow or next day. But how many tomorrows will you waste? when will you really change? when will you give time for yourself?
You're not afraid of anything, you're just afraid to move and take actions. You're just so afraid to fail and get embarrassed. You have to remove those bullshit thoughts if you want a dramatic improvement in your life.
Take it one step at time, keep the slow pace because change is not to be forced, it is to be endured. You can change one step at a time, you don't need to do it fast because doing it fast will only make you frustrated.
But first you need to realize that the activity you are engaging now with is all bullshit. Accept that it will do no good into your life, accept that you have to stop it even if it is hard. Because if you will keep on doing what you're doing... you will die for nothing.
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