Being selfish is not really being selfish, it is also being generous. Generous in a different way, you will make people become independent and also gain some knowledge that will help them in their lives.
You have to be selfish so that people will act on their own, so that they will become responsible and fully independent.
I have an experience before in basketball where a lot of other players were always asking for a drink from me because my water jug is big enough to supply many players. At first it is ok but lately I begin to notice that they were abusing, they were very dependent on me and sometimes I can't even drink my own water because they will not left me some. It sucks because I cannot have something for my throat whenever I am thirsty. So I decided not to bring my water outside of my car, I will just go there everytime I go thirsty. A lot of them notice it but I don't care because I don't want to be abused anymore. I've been doing it for weeks and I noticed that some of them were already bringing water on their own. I am proud of myself because I thought them a lesson indirectly. They learned how to bring water on their own and become not fully dependent on me. They may see me as being selfish but the truth is they become dependent from my selfishness in little ways.
If you keep on supplying people what they want they will become abusive, they will always look for you everytime they needed something. It will take away their potential to become independent. They will not stand on their own feet. You are not really helping them, you are just making them lazy and incapable of providing for themselves.
Stop lending other people money so they will for work their own money. If you keep on lending them some, you are only creating problems for yourself. You will be their go to guy, they will keep on borrowing from you. They will be satisfied with their situation and they will even rely on you to pay their bills and any other small things that they can do themselves. They will become a parasite that will suck every resources that you have.
You can help people but if they really deserve it and if they were really in a bad spot and they can't do anything with their situation anymore. Situations like accident, death, sudden bankruptcy... these are hard situations and these are the times when you needed to give them a helping hand.
But if you found yourself being abused and used, it is time for you to change what is happening. It is time for you to make a move and teach them some lesson by being selfish or not giving any assistance. It is time for them to realize that they need to do shits by themselves and stop relying from other people. It may really sounds bad but the truth is.. it is for their own good.
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