Well confidence is really what is missing to those people who wanted to become great but cannot. Even if they try so hard, practice so hard and kill themselves doing a lot of things, there is still something missing in them. Sometimes working hard is very frustrating especially if you can't see any result.
Now, if you knew in yourself that you really work super super hard and you already paid your dues... what you need to do next is train your mental strength. The skills were already there, the physical strength is already there, what you need to do is level up your mental toughness or improve your confidence.
For many, they thought that confidence is something that was given during birth. They thought that it was genetically distributed and if you didn't get enough of it, sorry to you. The truth is confidence is moldable, it can be taken to different heights, it depends on how big do you want it to grow, you can choose to become confident or not, it is up to you. There are some things that people should know about confidence, here they are:
1. Your confidence is not permanent. Sometimes your confidence is high and sometimes it is very low. It depends on what is happening into your life. Of course your confidence will go higher if you are winning and thriving and it will go low if you are losing and being beaten in different ways. The good news is once you reach some level of confidence and it goes down because of some tragic event... you can bring it back and make it even higher than it's highest position from the past. So never get discouraged if your confidence is lost or if you have no confidence at all, you can always build confidence whenever you want to, you just need to make an effort and use a lot of patience. Never get frustrated because you have no confidence now, just remember that one day you can become confident too like other people if you give time for yourself and do the necessary work to attain it.
2. Confidence can be build through repeated failure. Just because you are failing repeatedly doesn't mean you are a failure and it also doesn't mean you must let your confidence go down. If you can see the bright side of failing then you can build a lot of confidence from it. Failing a lot means gaining a lot of experiences, it will also somehow put your mind into a "nothing to lose" mentality. Because you were so familiar with failing, everytime you try again, it feels nothing anymore, the pressure is gone and it seems like it is just another normal day. You don't care if you fail anymore because there is no more emotional attachment with it. You already experienced the pain for failing a lot of times so you are not scared to fail anymore, you are so much loose and you are not afraid to express yourself anymore. Some people even put themselves into situations where knew they will fail, they do it on purpose so they will know how to react next time and what to do next time, their main purpose is not win but to get feedbacks.
3. Confidence can be faked. If you don't feel confident at all, fake it. Look for a person who is so confident, look at your idol, watch all of his movements, physique and body language. Imitate what he does, imitate how he carries himself and soon you will see that you are gaining some confidence in yourself. If you can't find someone whom you can imitate then just completely fake it. Act like you are confident, hide your fears, speak like you are confident, just play with it. Make a list of how a confident person acts or behaves then do the same even if you are a little bit scared.
4. You can find your own way how to become confident. A lot of books, ebooks, DVDs, tutorials and seminars were available in the market that promises you they will teach you how to become confident. While some of them were true, you are still the one who can teach yourself the best on how to become confident. You can find your own technique through experiencing a lot and guarding your emotions, study yourself, find the roots of your confidence and what makes you feel good about yourself. Find your fears and continuously try to conquer them. Look for the things that makes you confident and important. You are free to use your own technique on how to become confident, you are free to try anything. Even if your method is hard and will make you very uncomfortable do it.
5. Confidence can be felt exactly when you need it. Don't be worry if you feel so nervous before your game, fight, exam, speech, performance or anything that you need your confidence. The good thing about confidence is it can appear anytime. Just take your time, feel the moment and soon you will see that your confidence is slowly building up. You can never be confident in the beginning but you can become confident as the time goes by. Just be yourself and always relax, you don't need to feel confident right away, you can never force it, it will enter your body once you are ok being uncomfortable in any situation and you are still moving.
