October 12, 2016
HOW TO STOP BEING OUT OF PLACE
I know it happens to you where you've been out of place and you suck at the party or any kind of event, I know how it feels like. It feels embarrassing right? it feels weak and you want to go home if you can but of course you still want to greet the host of the party, you want to talk to him for a while and greet him but there are some instances when the host of the party is so busy and you can't even talk to him so your suffering got even worse. Sometimes he is with another group so you will wait for a long time just to talk to him.
There are also cases where you don't know anyone in an event and you can't talk to someone because your confidence has broken down already. Sweat in your palms and face, you feel like your're going to have a heart attack but you can't go home because you will look more stupid. It really sucks when you're out of place and you don't have anyone to talk to. You feel low, you feel weak but there are things you can do to avoid being out of place, here are they:
1. Know your purpose for going to an event. You must know well what is your purpose, if it is just greeting the celebrant or you also wanted to finish the event. If you just wanted to greet the celebrant then just greet him, stay for a little while then go home immediately. If you wanted to finish the event but you don't know anyone else then some of the list below will work for you.
2. Have a game plan. Before going to an event make a list of actions that you will do once a particular situation happens. I know you've been out of place before so you know how it feels like to suck so you should have a list of what to do next time if something makes you uncomfortable. It is like studying a script. Make a list of reactions that you will execute once a particular situation makes you feel bad. For example, if you're assigned to sit on a table that you don't know anyone, what will you do? Before going to the event, make a list of worst scenarios that may happen and assigned a solution for each of it.
3. Never go to an event if you don't have a friend that will also go. Never go to a war without an ally especially if you are not confident enough or else you will like a lone loser. Call some people that you know and ask them if they will also go.
4. Know the the timing of the event. Know the order or sequence of the event and go only to the time that you feel comfortable the most. You can even go late so you don't have a lot of time goofing around. Decide what is the most important part of the even or which one do you like the most and go only withing that time frame.
5. Never go to an event if you are not close to the celebrant. I don't know why some people go to an even without even knowing the host or the celebrant that is why they end up looking like a douche bag in the end. If you are not close to the host of the event then don't go there, chances are you don't know anyone and people will wonder who you are. The host will not entertain you, you will look like a gatecrasher.
6. Bring a companion if you are allowed to. If you wanted to make sure that you will not be out of place then bring someone that is talkative and can carry himself confidently with poise. Don't bring someone who will even make your confidence go down. Bring someone who is presentable and can help you to become comfortable at any given moment.
7. Bring something to play. If you are alone and you can't find someone to talk to then it is time to bring your gadgets out, bring out your cellphone and then play some games so your focus will be on the game and not on the people. This will give you time to become comfortable in the place. This will give you time to relax your mind and be east at the moment. Play super mario if you needed to, a boring game can become very enjoying because you needed something to divert your attention.
8. Pretend that you are busy. Call someone in your cellphone, text a lot. Do something that will not make you look stupid and doesn't know what to do. This will make the time fast, it will make you look still and comfortable with your surrounding. It will make you look you are alright being alone and doesn't mind people around you.
9. Be fully attentive if there is someone speaking on stage. This will divert your attention from being out of place to someone who belong. Be attentive to the speaker. Clap your hands if you needed to, laugh at the speaker's corny jokes, cheer him and say something to look like you're fully engage with the event.
10. Be natural. This is simple but very effective. Just go with the flow, you don't need to talk to anyone, all you need to do is feel good. Just enjoy the moment and be thankful that you are invited to an event. Appreciate the food, appreciate the program, just appreciate everything and you will feel good immediately.
11. Be hilarious. Do this if you are confident enough to crack a joke. If you are not confident in yourself then just wait for the proper timing. If you can make people laugh then you don't need to worry about anything anymore, people will like you, they will even agree to what you are saying.
12. Be cheerful. Smile at anyone, don't be a snub. Smiling a lot will make people not intimidated at you, it is welcoming a conversation. It is like opening up and starting a topic. Smiling often will also make you feel good, it will give you confidence. Even if some people don't smile back, don't stop doing it. The night is long someone will smile back at you and you will find someone to talk to.
13. Be cooperative. Make your presence felt. If they ask you to participate in a game or something then participate. If everyone is clapping their hands then clap your hands too. Be present and be one with the event. Don't be a kill joy type of person, be ok with being in a spotlight because that will make you look confident.
14. Don't sit in a corner. Always go to a position where you can be seen. Sitting in a corner will make you feel that you don't belong. Go to a place where an opportunity to talk to someone is possible. Never go to a spot that will make you look like a shy person. The secret here is you must have a thick face, explore the possibilities, never be afraid of rejection.
Actually, you don't need these lists if you are confident enough and you can play around but what if not? it is better to be prepared than to look like a puppy lost in a big park. Going to a party means socializing with different types of people, never be afraid of embarrassment because that is part of personal growth. Never try hard to fit in but also try to jell with other people. Always be natural and show them the best you without trying so hard and changing your real personality, in other words don't wear mask and never tell lies.