If you're too kind people will abuse you, people will step on you, manipulate you and will disrespect you. It is what it is, even if you're the nicest person in the world, that doesn't mean people will treat you nice too and success will be guaranteed to you.
Sometimes you need to be a little tough and impose your will so you will get what you want. Sometimes you need to be a little aggressive and enforce you will so you can achieve what you are trying to achieve. Because being too soft will not get the job done. Being too much soft spoken, generous, hesitant will only make you look weak and you will also feel weak.
Try to be a little bit rough and give people a little bit aggression and see if you can produce a different result. They've been abusing you for so many years, they've been treating you like a weak puppy for a very long time so I think this is the time to show them who the real boss is.
It's not that you become very mean and you will kick someone's ass for no reason, the point here is never let them do whatever they want with you, never let them just step on you and abuse you. If they didn't treat you right... fight back and show your teeth. Don't be too much humble, show them a little swag.
And when it comes to pursuing dreams.. it is time to enforce your will, it is time to ask them what you really want, it is time to ask the universe for more because you deserve more without being apologetic about it. It is time to produce some nasty numbers that no one has ever produced. You need to do something different. Kill your hesitation and pick your destination.