November 06, 2016

BAD THINGS ABOUT BEING NICE

Being nice is cool, a lot of people will like you, you will become approachable and you will make a lot of friends, the only question is... are they true friends? are they going to stay with you until the end. Some people are only being nice because they need something from you. They want to get your trust so they can use you every time they need something which is really disappointing. You will be kind to them and what will they give you back? full of shits and negativity.

That is why there are lot of nice people that turns out to become bad in the end. The people around them changed them. They become corrupt too, they turn into something they do not want. They have no choice but to do it because if they will not then people will mistreat them, disrespect them or even abuse them. They have to do it so people will show them a little respect.

I have a teacher in college, she was so nice, she was so approachable, students can ask her anything about the lesson. You cannot see her mad just for once. But one day she changed, students were abusing her and that makes her change. Students were very noisy in her class, they were not listening anymore, they were even copying each other's answer during the exam. And that makes her change, she turn from an angel into monster.

People who were nice have limitations too. If you think that you can abuse them forever then you are wrong. You will be stunned that one day, the person you know who can't even kill a mosquito can now slay a dragon. The person whom you think can't shout another person can roar like a lion. The transformation is brutal and unexpected. You will be scared to a person who've changed a lot.

Sometimes I think that being nice is being weak, I was once nice before. I want to please people, I am very generous and they can come to me anytime they need some help. I treat my friends like precious diamonds, I don't want them to get dirty. I give them what I can give without hesitation. But one day you will realize that it is very tiring. Pampering people will kill you and will stressed you a lot. It is not healthy anymore, you will ask yourself "why am I doing this shit?"

You will wake up into reality and you will realize that being nice is making your life ugly. It is not helping you, it is pulling you down. People will become very dependent from you. If you didn't give what they want, they will act as if they are angry, they will make you feel guilty which is disgusting.

So I decided to become strong, I told myself that "fuck them!" if they don't like me then I will not like them as well. I don't care if they will not like my new attitude, all I care about is living peacefully with less stress. I don't want to get attached from their feelings anymore. If they are angry because of my decisions, who cares?

Being nice is different from being weak, sometimes they don't even recognized you as a nice person, they see you as a weak person that is very easy to convince. They think that a simple drama can change your mind.

Being nice is not all about having a nice life and having a lot of friends who loves you, it is not about having a very good life of giving and sharing, there are lot of bad things about being nice and here are the most popular ones:

1. You will not be able to express yourself to the fullest. You don't want to offend somebody because your idea is brighter than him, you will just keep quiet and let the moron take over. But when you go home, you will think about what if you take actions and express your ideas. You will have a little bit of regret that you didn't do what will make you happy. Expressing yourself is what will make you feel very happy, it is like embracing the freedom you have and showing the world what you've got.

2. You will be the go to guy if they needed some money. Because you are nice and you don't want to disappoint everyone, even in financial problems, you will be the one who is on top of the list when it comes to people that they know who will help.  The will borrow some money from you and they will not return it back. They will treat you like a bank, the will withdraw money from you even if they didn't deposit anything. They feel insured and they think that they have pension because of you.

3. They will not treat you right, they will abuse you. And because you are not fighting back, they will always bully you. They will even call you some names that you don't like, they will give you an alias that is so funny and other people might use it too to address you. You will look like a loser again who cannot do something because you are so nice and you don't want an argument. The worst is they are doing something to you that is not acceptable such as making you look like a fool in public. But you are ok with it because you're such a nice guy.

4. You will look soft. If you are nice you will look soft, you will look incapable of competing. Some girls will be turned off at you because they will think you are gay. And that is why a lot of people were taking advantage of you because you look so kind and harmless. If you're in a fighting business and you are nice, your opponents will not be afraid at you. They will think that you are easy to defeat, you are giving them confidence unintentionally. They already have a big advantage on you.

5. You will never learn how to say no. You already belong to the yes man society. People who just say yes whenever someone ask them a favor. Even if you don't like what is being offered, you will still take it because you don't want to disappoint someone. People who can't say no are always in trouble. You will say yes if your friend ask you to drink even if you have an important meeting tomorrow. You will say yes if someone borrow your brand new shoes. You will say yes if someone is borrowing some money from you even though you also don't have enough money. You will say yes to everything. Other people are dictating your life. You cannot make your own decision.

Actually there is nothing wrong in being nice, what makes it wrong is you look like you don't love yourself anymore. You are always behind, you are always doing something for people who doesn't even deserve your attention. Be nice but not to everyone, only be nice to the people who are also nice to you and treating you right.

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