October 04, 2016
WHEN YOU SAY NO, YOU DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU SAY IT
A lot of people wants to explain themselves when they said no, they want to give a more deep details so they will not look like a liar or something, if you know what I mean. Once you say no then don't follow up for more words, you said it so be it. No more "because" after saying it, say it like you don't need to prove anything. Say it like you don't owe them an explanation. Say it like you really mean it and nothing can change your mind.
A lot of people were not yet successful now because they don't know how to say no. They were very easy to convince especially if guilt is playing a major role in the conversation. They have a very soft heart or maybe weak personality because they don't want to offend someone or turn someone down. They thought that they are responsible for someone's life even if they are not. They were very afraid to reject somebody because they don't want to hurt other people's feelings.
If you want to say no then just say it without thinking, without hesitation and feeling guilt. After all, it is your life that will be affected if you say yes and not theirs. And once you say no, don't explain yourself, don't make excuses. Just say no and then keep quiet, don't say sorry because you don't owe anyone an apology. Be brave enough to say it, say it with a confident voice, say it without conscience, that is the way how to say it.
Reasons why people can't say no:
1. They want to be friends with everyone. They want to be likable and they want to make friends with everyone which is impossible to happen. Even if you always say yes to everyone, they will still not like you in some ways, they will only like you if you can say yes. What if you say no? do you think they will still like you? so just say no, people who really likes you will still like you even if you reject them. Wanting to become friends with everyone will make you abused by many, they will be opportunistic because you give your power to them.
2. They were very easy to manipulate. Some people can't say No always because the believe easily. When someone tells them a fake story just to convince them... they will easily believe it. Their brains were very easy to manipulate, even if you tell them a story about your 80 year old grandpa who fractured his leg by dunking in a basketball so you need money for the hospital... they will still believe it. It is very easy to deceit them. They will not even think about it, they will just pull something from they wallet and hand it to you. Easy peasy. easy money.
3. They were just simply kind. The have a good heart, they don't care if your story is true or not, all they care about is helping. They help even if they don't have a lot of helping resources at all. They will never hesitate to help you that is why they were being abused a lot. Sometimes you don't even know if they were really kind or they were just plain stupid.
4. They feel like it is their responsibility to help everyone. They were blinded about the story of "the good samaritan" so much, they thought that when someone comes to them and ask for help, they need to give help. They feel like it is their responsibility to make the earth a better place. Even if they don't want to help, they will still help which is stupid and weak.
5. They want to look kind to everyone. Some people really don't want to agree with what is being request, they just don't want to look bad to everyone, they want to maintain an image that is generous, understanding and kind. They were afraid to say no because they think that other people will talk about them and be labeled as selfish human beings. They want to maintain this pure, sacred and holy image so even if they can't help because their money is running out... they will still help. For them, image is more important than living a better life.
6. They feel powerless. They don't feel they have the power to say no. They feel they have no authority to reject somebody because they don't want people to get angry at them if they said no. They don't know that they have the luxury to reject somebody especially if that person is not deserving to receive an assistance. I don't know but they just can't pull the trigger, they just always say yes even if their own ego is against it.
7. They want to impress. The want to impress everyone, they want people to see them as rich and generous. They want to look they were on top and money is nothing to them but deep inside they knew that they are having a difficulty. They will say yes just to become the talk of the town and let people know that they have a lot. They want to look rich, they want to look very strong.
Reasons why you should answer no:
1. Just to simply save yourself. Why in the world will you say yes if it will put you in a bad position? Why will you save others rather than saving yourself? say no if it will make life easier for you, say no if it is what your heart says. Don't feel ashamed of saying it, do't feel guilty about it. At the end of the day, they will also say no if you are the one who's on their position.
2. People will see you as a strong individual. If you say no, they will learned that you are strong and you can decide for yourself, they will feel that you can't be manipulated and you don't want to be a victim of their scam. They will
3. To teach them a lesson. So you can teach these schmucks a lesson that they can't get something right away everytime they needed it. Saying no is like waking them up and saying "Hey!!! not everytime you can get a YES answer. You need to wake up and do it for yourself you son of a bitch!"
4. So that parasitic people will leave you. If you keep on saying yes then you will be abused forever. Needy people will be attracted to you, they will love you and keep you because they can use you. They will never stop getting something from you because you always keep on saying yes. The moment you say no is the moment you will get your freedom from abusive people. At first they will accept your No and will try again for the second up to fourth time. And when they realized that you are no longer interested in saying yes... they will leave you immediately. They will make you feel guilty and even say strong words to you.
It is not bad to say no especially if it is the only way to save yourself. Always keep in mind that you have the right to say it and people can't do something about it. It is your decision, it is your answer. Once you say it... never change it and never explain why it is your answer.