October 14, 2016
ASK THEM ONCE
Sometimes in life, you don't need to ask twice, you only need to ask once. Because asking too much will make you less valuable, people will take you for granted, people will see you as a needy individual that needs your wish to be granted so you will become happy. Asking too much is like begging, look at those beggars who asks too much when they knock on the window of your car, you already said no but they still keep on asking for money, they were unattractive right? They were irritating and you feel like they don't deserve to be given some amount of money, not even coins.
Asking friends to go out. Just ask them once, not twice and not even thrice. If they say no then allow them to say it. Don't persuade them, don't convince them. Don't ever explain things on why they should go with you. If they don't want to go so let them be. And even if they say they'll think about it, still don't expect that they will go with you. Consider "thinking about it" as an answer that is NO. Because you will only feel bad in the end if they don't go with you, you will expect but what you get is disrespect. And besides, you can have fun if only few friends will hang out with you, you can even have fun going out with yourself. Never put your happiness from others because you will feel very sad in the end.
Asking for help. If you ask help from someone because you really needed it and they say NO then move on right away and find for another solution. Don't think about it, don't feel bad about it, just accept it. Because if you will ask them repeatedly it means you are weak and your success purely relies on them. The person being asked several times will play hard to get, he will even play with you. If you can avoid asking for help then much better. Because if you ask help from someone, they will have power over you. You will become under their control and there is nothing you can do about it. You will lose your power and you have no choice to follow their orders.
Inviting them to your party. Some people are really playing "hard to get" when you invite them. They will say "I'm not sure", "I'm busy but I will try", "I will try to make up next time", "If my boss let me out early then I will go", "Oh! we have a reunion, I will decide later". So much excuses from other people will only make you feel bad so it is better not to expect anything from people who were not sure. When they say "I'm not sure" or if their answer were hesitant then consider it as NO. As simple as that, you will only accept a YES or NO answer. There is no between, there is no clouded answer.
The idea here is to stop looking needy and powerless. If you let people feel that you need them very much then they will feel they have the authority to become a star in your life. Stop longing for people's attention or help so much that your PRIDE is already being destroyed. If they want to help you then fine if they don't want then much better. The point here is you are taking care of yourself and happiness, you being independent from others and you letting the world know that you can stand for yourself.
This is not about being arrogant or something, it is about valuing yourself and believing in yourself. You can live without their help or attention, you can become happy by just being you and not begging for someone's attention. Because people love someone who is so independent. They don't want someone who is bossy, needy and dependent.
So if you have to ask someone, ask him without letting him feel that you want him so bad. Ask him without feelings. Ask him like you are ready to walk away and move on so fast if the answer is no. Never act like a beggar, just ask once and never care if the answer is yes or no. This is a good strategy in life, it will make people impressed with you. Never look like you're desperate, ever.
Having the ability to walk away is a good trait, people will see that you are powerful and you don't care if they rejected you. It is like having strong confidence even though you are the one who is asking for a favor. But also keep in mind that you should really believe that better things will show on your way, you should really believe it and that should be your focus. It should not be walking away from something or someone because you are bitter and you got angry.
I've encountered a beggar who is begging like a boss. He will ask for your money and when you say no, he will go away immediately, he will not stay longer to convince you. I am impressed because the beggar is so confident. I know he has the mindset that even a particular person rejected him, he will still find another person who will give him some money. I am impressed and I am applying it in my life, I just walk away from someone who rejected me, no hurt feelings, no bad blood. The beggar doesn't care because he always knew there will always be someone along the way who will give him some alms, he has an abundance mindset even though he is only begging.
And one more thing, always say thank you if someone rejected you or refuses to help you. It is a way of saying thank you to the universe and a sign that you are ok with life. It is a sign that you are living in abundance and you appreciate life no matter what. Always saying thank you means you are confident and better things are ahead of you.