August 17, 2016
YOU HAVE A TRAUMA THAT IS WHY YOU CAN'T DO IT
You know why you can't get the job done? It is because you have trauma from the past. That is why you can't get the job done. You don't want to repeat the same mistakes anymore. You don't want to be humiliated anymore. The reality is the more you think about it, the more you don't want to experience it again, the more you become cautious about it then the more you will experience it again. It is embedded in your mind. You give so much value to it and that is why it keeps coming back to you.
You remember people laughing at you when you made a mistake in saying something. And now you don't want to speak again, you don't want to express your ideas again. And that trauma is avoiding you from doing it. That is why you can't do it. You can't do public speaking because of the embarrassment you experience from the past. That one common mistake cannot be erased in your mind because there is a strong feeling associated with it and that is feeling down because of the humiliation from other people. You don't even want to make comments even if you are sure about it. You don't even want to ask for something, the trauma paralyzes you forever.
Your remember your coach shouting at you when you commit a turnover. He immediately take you out from the game. You always remember it, and when you face another pressure situation again... you don't want to take action, you don't want to commit mistakes. It is not because you lack skill but because the trauma is reminding you about the pain you experienced in the past. It reminds you the bad feeling you felt and you were so afraid to feel it again.
There are lot of things that you can do but you can't do it because the trauma freezes you. You don't want to experience doing the same mistake again. And the worst is you don't even know that you have a trauma, you just feel it when the same situation is happening again.
BUT WHAT IF YOU DO THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN? What if you intentionally do the same mistakes but this time you will not care about what people say? How do you think will you feel?
That is the best way to beat a trauma. Feeling that negative feeling over and over again until that feeling is not new to you. Until that feeling is not a feeling anymore. You have to face the uncomfortability, you have to face the pain. There is no other way around.
And in the end you will learn that what you can't do is very easy because you are not afraid of making mistakes anymore. You will be able to do what you can't do before because there is no more fear that is holding you back.