If you don't know where will you go, go to the innermost you. Go to yourself and you will find the solution to everything. You will know the answer to your questions.
You are so confused because you listen to what people say, your decisions were affected by the people around you. If you were in a situation where you need to make a decision, you need to go to your innermost self. Look for what you really want, know who you really are. Study how you feel once you make an action. Is that action what you really want? do you really want the results that you are getting?
You already forgotten who you are and what you really want because of the events that happened to your life everyday, because of the words that you hear everyday. Your soul is being blackened and poisoned because of the fear of being judged.
When I say go to the innermost you, go to what you really want regardless of the outcome. Go hard and go extreme. Be the most real you, be true to yourself and be sincere to your passion.
It is not too late to go back to who you really are. You can still make adjustments, you can still find the real you that has been lost many years ago. Time is ticking, the more you live the life that you don't want, the more you don't listen to what your heart says... the harder for you to get what you are dreaming of.
Stop being fake, stop playing safe. Your life is very short to wear a protection mask that protects you from being harmed. Show the real you, what is your default?
Going to the innermost you is the only way to make you happy, imagine if you only have one week left in your life, are you going to act the same way as you are acting right now? or are you going to go all out and become the person that you wanted to become?