The reason why you can't be yourself is you wanted to take reactions and not give emotions. What do I mean by this? Instead of performing at your best, instead of being creative and being yourself... your focus is on taking reactions. You are so committed on what people say, your actions and decisions are based on what they are expecting. You are like a chained dog commanded by his master.
Give emotions. Be natural, just give your best and everything will be taken care of itself. You can give emotions by showing your best performance, you don't need to force it, you don't need to complicate it, just be your natural and 100 percent sincere you. And also, never care if you give emotions or not, whether they feel something or nothing about you... it is none of your business.
Being successful is all about giving, giving your 100 percent effort, giving everything you've got. If they get it, good but if not then it really doesn't matter. What matters is you being yourself because that is the real source of happiness. Because you can only show your skills by giving and not by taking.